"Much has been written about the disappearance of the Mayas. We have been doing a bit of research ourselves, and discovered the truth. They stole wormhole secrets from the ambassadors of an alien civilisation and, through them, became beings of light.
They now live in a set of parallel universes stacked like a deck of tarot cards, bookended by the big bang on one side, the Heat Death of the Universe on the other.
They move through these universes like commuters of the quantum underground, and organise crazy techno parties in the vicinity of momentous events, with DJs kidnapped from all over the space-time continuum.
At the end of the gig, they do all sorts of ghastly things to the DJs. They send them spinning into the heart of a Supernova. They pull Ark of the Covenant facemelt moves on them. They devour their hearts.
Except for one time, when MUTWAWA played. He comes from a warmongering civilisation that one day will enslave mankind. He likes Green Velvet and Crash Course in Science. He is badass.
He was so banging they let him go. Planet Earth is screwed."
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